For several months, I had the privilege of leading talks on Books for Living (see the whole list of books on my website).
Build the Life You Want: The Art and Science of Getting Happier by Arthur C. Brooks and Oprah Winfrey was chosen as one of the Books for Living out of a personal motivation. I was finally in a position to think about building the professional life I wanted.
I had strict criteria including meaningful work based on my values, work hours that still allowed for family and friends, and work that could be done remotely. I thought I knew all I needed to achieve my goal. I wanted to read the book to see if these experts/authors agreed with me!
After many underlines, exclamation marks and ‘aha’ moments, I found that my basic foundational ideas were on point - but I learned SO much more from this book. That’s what books can do for you …. keep you in an exciting growth mindset.
Below (in bold print) are 3 of many quotes from the book that have influenced my personal life and have provided valuable insights that align with my coaching philosophy:
My personal word for 2024 is “becoming.” This word resonated with this quote: “Happiness is not a destination. Happiness is a direction.” In coaching, I talk with my clients about progress, not perfection. We are all “becoming” as we move in the direction of our life’s goals.
“How does this emotion serve you and your goals and values?” Almost all of my clients are asked this question. That then turns into insightful discussion about choice and values. I LOVE this question and all of the growth/perspective opportunities that stem from the quote: “You can choose how you react to negative circumstances and select emotions that make you happier even when you get a bad hand…Look for meaning and learning in the hard parts of life.”
“Experience your emotions consciously, separate them from your behavior and refuse to be controlled by them.” Valuing and honoring emotions while not letting emotions be in control are practices that my clients are encouraged to consciously act on. In our daily lives we often hear words to the effect: “I am frustrated.” Actually, YOU are not frustrated - you are FEELING frustration. Coming to the understanding that “I am (emotion)” is very different from “I am feeling (emotion)" is a frequent transformational moment for my clients. Understanding, honoring and valuing emotions without letting them define who we are or control us is a life-changer.
These powerful quotes may help you as you live in choice as described in Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning: “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms - to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
I highly recommend reading Build the Life You Want for more details on how to build the life you want personally and with your family, your friends, your work and your faith - the basic pillars of happiness that the authors say bring enduring satisfaction and meaning to life.
If you have any specific questions or want further discussion on these topics, feel free to ask.
Wishing you the opportunity and choice to build the life you want and need!
In your corner,
Linda