April's Theme: Embracing Life Beyond ‘Just’ and ‘Fine’
Today, as I write to you, I’m dealing with a sudden cold, the origins of which remain a mystery after several days of delightful, sunny walks.
However, this morning when asked how I was feeling, I caught myself saying, “Just fine.”
Well, that was a conversation stopper because it was simply not true.
While I’m not incapacitated, I do feel a sense of disappointment over canceling plans I was eagerly anticipating with friends. I’m also frustrated by the inconvenience of being ill.
It’s moments like these that make me wonder why I offer the perfunctory “just fine” and why I don’t express my true emotions.
The word ‘just’ is particularly troublesome. It often diminishes the significance of what follows it.
I often hear phrases such as: “I’m just a mom,” or “It was just a car accident.”
Well, actually, being a mom is one of the hardest jobs in the world - and being in an accident is a serious event with wide-ranging physical, emotional and financial repercussions!
Why do we belittle our feelings or circumstances with the word ‘just?’
And then there’s ‘fine.’ I keep a card by my desk that depicts Roy Kent (from Ted Lasso) saying “Don’t you dare settle for fine.”
While Roy’s words were specifically directed at Rebecca regarding a relationship, they can hold broader significance. Our aim should be to live lives that transcend mere ‘fine.’
While some days ‘fine’ will feel like an improvement over the previous day, ‘fine’ should not be our ultimate aspiration.
Many people find themselves stuck with the comfortable - yet unfulfilling and uninspiring - ‘fine.’ They risk looking back on their lives with regret, having missed out on opportunities and adventures because they are content with a lukewarm ‘fine.’
My challenge to you: Do not diminish yourself with ‘just’ - and refuse to settle for ‘fine.’ Acknowledge and respect your emotions, your life and the exciting growth adventure that it offers you.
And, if you hear me say the two words that shall never more be said, you have my permission to call me out (with love, of course!).
In Your Corner,
- Linda